おはようございます！わたしはせんりゅうが four (don't know the counter) かきました。 I hope that you enjoy. I may add more to the list if I think of any more.
(1)
カフェじゃない。
きっさてんです。
ちがいます。
(2)
ニューヨーク：
しんせつじゃない；
きれいです。
(3)
かたかなは
アメリカじんの
かのじょです。
(4)
まちでした。
ゴジラきました。
なにもない
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あたらしいせんりゅうをかきました。どうぞ：
(5)
ビープビー...
でんはをかける
いそがしい。
(6)
かいしゃいん
おさけをみます。
ハードジョブ。
こんばんは！I forgot to leave a comment explaining what I did :D. These せんりゅう all incorporate some kind of かたかな usage.
ReplyDelete1) The word "カフ", or "cafe", is what Westerners tend to think of - a classy social establishment for young urban professionals (with delicious coffee of course). A いっさてん, however, is a Japanese-style coffee house that isn't as glitzy (according to Wikipedia that is - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kissaten). I think that the tendency to use a かたかな word to replace a native word can be a mistake, as seen in this case.
2) Here I use the かたかな for "New York". The poem reads "New York. It isn't nice. It's beautiful." Perhaps the かたかな gives the poem authority, as a sort of slogan for New York City. But the poem was not written with this intention.
3) The poem talks specifically about かたかな, and describes it as "an American's girlfriend". It can really be boyfriend or girlfriend, but かのじょ fit the syllabic count :D. We tend to make up かたかな to describe words of which we do not know the native Japanese equivalent. And when reading texts, かたかな makes translation a near automatic task. So when the Japanese gets harder and harder, かたかな will be there, in a symbolic sort of way, to aid us and relieve some of the stress.
4) This せんりゅう was fun to write because I got to use a word from my blog title: ゴジラ, otherwise known as Godzilla. The poem reads: "(There) was a city. Godzilla came. Nothing." The name conjures up cultural references to the character who tried to destroy the cities of many feature films. The poem's end represents the end of one of these cities.
Hope you all have enjoyed!
Haha, not the strictest senryuu in terms of being about human nature, but they are still good. I especially like the first one, pointing out how katakana can be misused. It follows well from your katakana analysis, which discussed the overuse of loanwords.
ReplyDeleteNow, the last line of your final senryuu, is it really reading “Nothing” or more like “Everything was dead”? ない as a a suffix negates, but according to the dictionary, alone it means dead…would still fit the senryuu, just would make it a bit darker.
Your last senryu was awesome. I think the last line fits well. Gojira could and would destroy everything.
ReplyDeleteyour fourth one was heart wrenching in its honesty..I'd hate for ゴジラ to come to my まち. I also liked your third one, it is an interesting metaphor for katakana.
ReplyDeleteすごいですね!
Oh by the way
わたしのレチェルです。はまだせんせいのクラスにいます。(わたしもColumbiaだいがくのがくせいです。)はじめまして!
P.P.S
わたしのlast nameもJohnsonです。
I would just like to add a comment about the fourth poem (with ゴジラ). I read about Godzilla briefly on Wikipedia, which claims that the monster symbolizes the potential threat of nuclear destruction in a post-WWII era. While the creature is recognized abroad largely as a source of entertainment, the implications are deeper than that. So when Godzilla comes to a city and destroys it, this should hopefully mean more than just a blockbuster cinema.
ReplyDeleteすごいですね！
ReplyDeleteゴジラのせんりゅうとかたかなのせんりゅうはすごいですね！ あなたのexplanationがすきです。
ReplyDeleteさんばんめ が いちばん すきです！
ReplyDeleteすごいですね。そしておもしろいです。
ReplyDeleteわたしはだいすきです。
thats all my current vocab allows me to say but job well done!